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Update on the Roomie
Feb. 20th, 2002 08:39 am[2/20/2002 5:39:47 AM]
I should be zen about this. I should recognize my own part in the creation of this situation, and that when you look closer the whole thing proceeds fairly logicallly and predictably, according to personality and inclination. I should let him make good on his theft, and keep a lock on my door until then, recognizing his desire to return balance as well as his propensity to throw it off. If I were a Buddha, maybe I'd do that. I feel much more inclined to tell Eric that if he moves back in I'll move out, and accompany it with a long tirade on how he has lied to his friends, his lovers, and us
since the day he got here, he's not stable, he lives in a fantasy world created by his own lies, and if he's anything like the people I've known before, he'll do anything possible to avoid taking responsibility for what he did.
I don't *want* an excuse to let him back in, let alone a good reason.
I have to stop thinking about what I want.
I have to stop thinking.
I should be zen about this. I should recognize my own part in the creation of this situation, and that when you look closer the whole thing proceeds fairly logicallly and predictably, according to personality and inclination. I should let him make good on his theft, and keep a lock on my door until then, recognizing his desire to return balance as well as his propensity to throw it off. If I were a Buddha, maybe I'd do that. I feel much more inclined to tell Eric that if he moves back in I'll move out, and accompany it with a long tirade on how he has lied to his friends, his lovers, and us
since the day he got here, he's not stable, he lives in a fantasy world created by his own lies, and if he's anything like the people I've known before, he'll do anything possible to avoid taking responsibility for what he did.
I don't *want* an excuse to let him back in, let alone a good reason.
I have to stop thinking about what I want.
I have to stop thinking.
