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Feb. 15th, 2002 09:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coffeeteaandme[2/15/2002 6:01:13 AM |]
This has been an amazing week. All spikes on the charts.
I'm sitting here at my console, about as tense as I've ever been. There's a thief upstairs, sleeping.
I flew in last Thursday and Mike Marsh picked me up-- we haven't seen each other in years. He and a new Dana & I sat til 5 at a diner talking like we'd been there forever. It was good.
Friday was JoAnn's day, relaxing and I spent it with her. Saturday J Michael & I recorded at Michael Morrione's studio. It was a great experience, and I don't know how to thank the people in it properly-- except to go ahead & make the CD...
Damn. I don't have the heart to do more than enumerate all that happened right now. We got out of the recording session feeling completely knackered, but when we got home it was time for the sisun at the house, so we reenergized, and stayed up til 2 or three. There were me & J Michael, Walt, Charles, Fiona & Jeffrey, and Kelly & a friend of hers, Priscilla. The music is a wonderful thing. No hangovers, of course.
Sunday was the Goddess Tea, and it was one of the best. Everyone stayed and talked until at least 5 or six, then we had residual company for several more hours-- I drove Sandra home at 10.
Monday I rented a car & went to see Shawn in Carrollton, and Tuesday I flew home to La Guardia. I got a train to Huntington and a taxi to Mom's. Got in my car and drove off with all my baggage. It was so good to be driving again,
the weariness of the day went away and I listened to the humm of my little Toyota. I love my car. The trial was over, we were headed back home, where we belonged.
On the LIE the engine stalled. We kept rolling, and for some time I tried to start it again. It didn't. No smoke or odd sounds accompanied the event, no smells or fluctuations in power. I pulled over to the side. Traffic went by. I called Mom, and she began the process of driving 40 minutes late at night to pick me up, because she's my Mom. A tow truck came and took me and the car to a station. The driver's name was Glen. Mom came and we went back to the house. The following day I called the mechanic and he told me it was the timing belt that died, 400$ to replace all the belts.
I hung up and stared at the floor. I growled. Then I screamed. I didn't hold back. It didn't help, so I screamed again and again and again, breaking and cracking. It didn't hurt much. Nobody came. I curled up on the floor. I had 23 dollars in the bank, and a job three days a week. I wanted very much to have life stop and wait up for me.
There is one good thing about completely decompensating-- you get it all out. After awhile I stopped wanting to scream. I forced myself to call Mom and arranged to borrow the money until I could pay her back. I called Tim and
told him what happened. In a scene unplayed for many years by us, he calmed me down and told me not to worry so much about it, it was counterproductive. I calmed down, went downstairs and worked out on the machines, watching Sleepy Hollow. Good movie. Eventually my car was finished, and I took it home to Maine.
I got in at midnight, and left for work in the morning. I had lost a day, and the message from the temp agency had said to be there for *sure* the next day. I left early, 7:15, to be there by 8.
An hour later I was screaming again, behind the wheel of my perfectly functional car, at the freak traffic that was stopped through Biddeford, stubbornly preventing me from getting more lost than I already was. At 8:22 I drove up to an empty locked office, whence a very frustrated lawyer had just exited for appointments. At at nearby payphone the agency explained that the assignment had been terminated. I hung up, drove home and took a shower. I didn't scream. At this point I was in the state of mind that I imagine happens during torture, when you stop all protest, and simply wait for it to be over. It was 9:30AM.
I called my old temp agency, ADECCO. They took my information and told me to call back in a week. I got dressed. The phone rang, Adecco calling me back for an assignment that begins next week. I put on my clothes and went for
a briefing on the job. It was Valentine's Day, so on the way back I stopped by my old job, FBR, where they'd invited me for their luncheon. It was very good food, and people were glad to see me. I met the woman who'd replaced me, and she gave me the number of her friend who is a musician in Portland, and invited me to her potluck Friday night.
I stopped by my nearby new assignment on the way back to check it out and score points with the new boss. Mission accomplishhed, I worked out at the club and went home. It was 4:00.
At home I asked Tim about the lowered levels in my liqor bottles and the state of my browser, which comes up on the last thing it's visited, and made me think someone had been on my computer while I was away. He was shocked and
dismayed to think it had been one of his friends, and assured me he'd ask them about it and replace the liquor. He went out with a friend. Alone at last! I turned on the TV and for once poured myself a long drink. I really needed to relax.
It was water.
Bad thoughts occurred to me. I went into my desk and took out the little lunchbox I keep my future mandolin fund in.
It was 100$ shy.
90 minutes and no relaxing (but no screaming) later, Eric came home, the quiet, corporate roomie from whom we rent. I showed him the bottles and told him what was up. There were some long silences after that, but for the next hour I cooled off and we talked about what to do. Tonight Eric's coming home with new locks for the doors, and tomorrow we'll confront him with the evidence. Today--
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Location: Home
This has been an amazing week. All spikes on the charts.
I'm sitting here at my console, about as tense as I've ever been. There's a thief upstairs, sleeping.
I flew in last Thursday and Mike Marsh picked me up-- we haven't seen each other in years. He and a new Dana & I sat til 5 at a diner talking like we'd been there forever. It was good.
Friday was JoAnn's day, relaxing and I spent it with her. Saturday J Michael & I recorded at Michael Morrione's studio. It was a great experience, and I don't know how to thank the people in it properly-- except to go ahead & make the CD...
Damn. I don't have the heart to do more than enumerate all that happened right now. We got out of the recording session feeling completely knackered, but when we got home it was time for the sisun at the house, so we reenergized, and stayed up til 2 or three. There were me & J Michael, Walt, Charles, Fiona & Jeffrey, and Kelly & a friend of hers, Priscilla. The music is a wonderful thing. No hangovers, of course.
Sunday was the Goddess Tea, and it was one of the best. Everyone stayed and talked until at least 5 or six, then we had residual company for several more hours-- I drove Sandra home at 10.
Monday I rented a car & went to see Shawn in Carrollton, and Tuesday I flew home to La Guardia. I got a train to Huntington and a taxi to Mom's. Got in my car and drove off with all my baggage. It was so good to be driving again,
the weariness of the day went away and I listened to the humm of my little Toyota. I love my car. The trial was over, we were headed back home, where we belonged.
On the LIE the engine stalled. We kept rolling, and for some time I tried to start it again. It didn't. No smoke or odd sounds accompanied the event, no smells or fluctuations in power. I pulled over to the side. Traffic went by. I called Mom, and she began the process of driving 40 minutes late at night to pick me up, because she's my Mom. A tow truck came and took me and the car to a station. The driver's name was Glen. Mom came and we went back to the house. The following day I called the mechanic and he told me it was the timing belt that died, 400$ to replace all the belts.
I hung up and stared at the floor. I growled. Then I screamed. I didn't hold back. It didn't help, so I screamed again and again and again, breaking and cracking. It didn't hurt much. Nobody came. I curled up on the floor. I had 23 dollars in the bank, and a job three days a week. I wanted very much to have life stop and wait up for me.
There is one good thing about completely decompensating-- you get it all out. After awhile I stopped wanting to scream. I forced myself to call Mom and arranged to borrow the money until I could pay her back. I called Tim and
told him what happened. In a scene unplayed for many years by us, he calmed me down and told me not to worry so much about it, it was counterproductive. I calmed down, went downstairs and worked out on the machines, watching Sleepy Hollow. Good movie. Eventually my car was finished, and I took it home to Maine.
I got in at midnight, and left for work in the morning. I had lost a day, and the message from the temp agency had said to be there for *sure* the next day. I left early, 7:15, to be there by 8.
An hour later I was screaming again, behind the wheel of my perfectly functional car, at the freak traffic that was stopped through Biddeford, stubbornly preventing me from getting more lost than I already was. At 8:22 I drove up to an empty locked office, whence a very frustrated lawyer had just exited for appointments. At at nearby payphone the agency explained that the assignment had been terminated. I hung up, drove home and took a shower. I didn't scream. At this point I was in the state of mind that I imagine happens during torture, when you stop all protest, and simply wait for it to be over. It was 9:30AM.
I called my old temp agency, ADECCO. They took my information and told me to call back in a week. I got dressed. The phone rang, Adecco calling me back for an assignment that begins next week. I put on my clothes and went for
a briefing on the job. It was Valentine's Day, so on the way back I stopped by my old job, FBR, where they'd invited me for their luncheon. It was very good food, and people were glad to see me. I met the woman who'd replaced me, and she gave me the number of her friend who is a musician in Portland, and invited me to her potluck Friday night.
I stopped by my nearby new assignment on the way back to check it out and score points with the new boss. Mission accomplishhed, I worked out at the club and went home. It was 4:00.
At home I asked Tim about the lowered levels in my liqor bottles and the state of my browser, which comes up on the last thing it's visited, and made me think someone had been on my computer while I was away. He was shocked and
dismayed to think it had been one of his friends, and assured me he'd ask them about it and replace the liquor. He went out with a friend. Alone at last! I turned on the TV and for once poured myself a long drink. I really needed to relax.
It was water.
Bad thoughts occurred to me. I went into my desk and took out the little lunchbox I keep my future mandolin fund in.
It was 100$ shy.
90 minutes and no relaxing (but no screaming) later, Eric came home, the quiet, corporate roomie from whom we rent. I showed him the bottles and told him what was up. There were some long silences after that, but for the next hour I cooled off and we talked about what to do. Tonight Eric's coming home with new locks for the doors, and tomorrow we'll confront him with the evidence. Today--
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Location: Home
