Love you, Bob.
Dec. 19th, 2018 10:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
coffeeteaandmeBob Bielefeld died last Thursday or so.
I haven't been able to deal with it, we just rolled back into town that day, I just couldn't. We were tired from a week long move - I was numb.
Last night I finally went to the Dead Wren Dancing and Singing Society, and scrolled down the page so I could feel something. Bob deserves to be mourned, even if I don't feel like I have the right to mourn him.
He was such a lovely, gentle man for one so talented and committed to excellence. He was always so receptive and welcoming, and always wanted to include us in projects. He stretched out and played with everyone.
I could never step over that line and include myself. He was too good. He played with people who were too much better than me, I couldn't get there from here. He offered to change keys on jazz songs so I could sing with the Monday night jazz group, but I wouldn't do it. I tried a couple of times, but I was too self-conscious. They were having a great time, I didn't want to be the one who screwed up their night. Part of me suspected he was inviting others so that it would keep a practiced group on their toes. I could never convince myself to do it.
This is so blurry, but it's a video instead of static pictures. I like seeing Bob move, pictures are so static. He was so playful, his flute playing had a puckishness that showed his gentle sense of humor. And everyone else here is so good right along with him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWxuzeiBcs&t=130s
I haven't been able to deal with it, we just rolled back into town that day, I just couldn't. We were tired from a week long move - I was numb.
Last night I finally went to the Dead Wren Dancing and Singing Society, and scrolled down the page so I could feel something. Bob deserves to be mourned, even if I don't feel like I have the right to mourn him.
He was such a lovely, gentle man for one so talented and committed to excellence. He was always so receptive and welcoming, and always wanted to include us in projects. He stretched out and played with everyone.
I could never step over that line and include myself. He was too good. He played with people who were too much better than me, I couldn't get there from here. He offered to change keys on jazz songs so I could sing with the Monday night jazz group, but I wouldn't do it. I tried a couple of times, but I was too self-conscious. They were having a great time, I didn't want to be the one who screwed up their night. Part of me suspected he was inviting others so that it would keep a practiced group on their toes. I could never convince myself to do it.
This is so blurry, but it's a video instead of static pictures. I like seeing Bob move, pictures are so static. He was so playful, his flute playing had a puckishness that showed his gentle sense of humor. And everyone else here is so good right along with him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqWxuzeiBcs&t=130s
